Three Weeks, Three Tests

I'm back from break and let me tell you, it's just one big tease for summer. I have had the hardest time focusing on my work and getting back into the swing of things. And to top it off these last few weeks have been the most stressful thus far. They have been a test of patience, faith, and just straight up tests in class. I haven't been writing lately and honestly it's life catching up to me. Most of my classes are alright, except for two.

One of them I have a teacher who I struggle to understand. The grade she has given me on a big project does not seem fair. I'm not going to go into the details of it, but I am going in tomorrow to talk to her about why she thought I did so horribly. I literally need half a point to bring the grade up to good standing.

               - Test of Patience 

Easter came and went and it was all good. It was fun to see the family and talk with everyone. Megan is not only my cousin but one of my closest friends I can talk to, especially about everything Jesus. After lunch Megan and I took a walk to Grandpa's grave. On this walk we talked about him, the future, and Jesus. We talked about where we are going to church and what we think of them. Talking to her I came to the realization that I am not getting what I need out the church I am attending. And don't get me wrong. I LOVE salt. I love the people, the worship, and the messages in general. Salt is just not the right fit for me. Their messages often cover things that we need to do to improve as Christians, or things that we may be doing wrong. Most days this is what I need to give me a kick in the butt to get back on track but lately this hasn't been helping. If anything it is making me feel like an awful Christian. I feel that right now I need not to be told I'm doing something wrong, but to be told it's okay to make mistakes. I need to be encouraged to better, not to be torn down for yet another thing I'm doing wrong. As of now I do not go to church regularly, but I continue to pray that God will lead me to where I need to go. 

             - Test of Faith

Tests have been stressing me out hardcore. the first test I took was over a week ago. I went into the classroom feeling halfway confident I would do okay, but was quickly shut down when I struggled to find answers. I have now waited over a week for the teacher to grade them and post the results online. The longer I wait the more nervous I get that it will be brutal. Everyday I refresh the page in the morning, during lunch, and before I go to bed. Also to top off test anxiety, I was blindsided with a test in my Humanities class. Monday night I started to feel an awful cold coming on and on Tuesday morning I couldn't hardly stand up from the headache. I decided to ignore Ang poking at me and sleep in for my first two classes since neither of them take attendance.  For my third class I decided to go since attendance is actually a part of the grade and good thing I did because it was test day. I'm not kidding when I say I had no clue we had a test. We didn't have class the Thursday before because it was a "review" day, which the teacher does at the end of every unit, so being the true blonde that I am didn't think anything of it and thought we had another unit before the test. Nope. And to top off me feeling dumb enough I got some dirty looks from kids who already think I'm incompetent. I could actually consider this another test of faith because man, I was praying hard the whole time I took the test. 

              - Tests in General 

*Lord please have mercy on my GPA this semester.